August 17, 2012

it's okay

it's like I wake up and there is the unmistakable weight of fear and stress.
and I get dressed at 3pm everyday and I just feel bad.
I feel like I'm sick and I don't really want to do anything or go anywhere.

but then I get going and I don't want to stop.
I want to get things done, complete projects,
fill out job applications, just be productive.
and I feel happy. great. and I'm excited to see my homies again.
I'll be a junior and I'm on the drama council. and I'm excited.

this cocktail of emotions happens everyday and I can't shake it.
I don't know what it is. it's thick and it won't leave me alone.
it's like I want to be happy but it won't let me.

I think it's end of summer / pre-school blues.
I feel like summer has slipped by, and all the promise
and potiential is leaving with it. all the things on my summer
bucketlist that I never got to do are slapping me in the face.
all the people I care about that I haven't seen in forever,
their face and voice. I miss them.

so here we go. let's buckle down and head in.
don't mourn the summer. it's not the end.
it's just an extension. summer is a state of mind.
you don't have to lose it.
just keep it.

1 comment:

Robyn said...

i feel the same exact way. especially because this way my last summer as a high school student, and it hardly lived up to last summer. But, the school year holds much promise, and even though we have rough times, we make it through with a smile on our faces.