January 07, 2011

cato jones


he was schooled. he got served. burned. pwned.

I won. he lost. and I fufilled the dare initiated over a year ago that I never forgot.
picture this :

an eigth grader olivia sitting next to miss ashley mcbee. we had the same hair cut and color, we became twins. mr. spence. u.s. history class.
mr.spence fled the state for a few weeks, so we had cato potato for over a week. and I can barely stand him one class period. he took roll and ashley and I switched seats for probably the 12.6th time. he never noticed, we were on the row next to the door on the far side of the classroom, and we looked the same to him. then he bagan to spin out his atrocious blonde jokes.

and we all sighed. I said to my temporary twin,
"one of these days, one of us has to stand up at the end of one of the blonde jokes, say 'I'm offended!' and walk out." ashley lit up.
"You should! I dare you. I dare you now. the next time you ever hear cato jones tell a blonde joke you must."

and it was a deal. I kept the dare. everyone in the class knew about it, and soon everyone was hanging off the edge of their seat for the roll. but after that day he never told another joke to the class. time went on and we are back to present day olivia. back to the present.

I walk into third period on monday, and there is the potato. sitting there. I remembered my dare. suddenly, everyone else did too. I sit and am terrified. he is in a horrid mood. he spits out the roll and every kid is again hanging on their seat. eyes wide open.

"Now for some jokes," he slurrs. no. no. "I have some good engineer ones." the class lets out a breath they were stifling. he goes on about engineers. he finishes and I am home free. until matt speaks up.

"You know any blonde jokes...?" cato clears his throat. I sink lower in my chair. he spins out a lenghthy joke about a blonde, brunette, and redhead. the disappearing mirror. he is nearing the punchline. I have heard this one eighteen times before.

the punchline is hanging in the air.
my legs stand myself up. my knees shake a little, and my hand is on the desk for support.
"I'm offended!" literally every eye in the room is tracked on me. then to cato. I sit back down. I can't walk out of here.
"..I'm surprised you understood it." noises erupt from the class. my legs stand up again. I shake my head. don't test me cato. I start to make my way for the door. he speaks up again,
"keep walking in circles. the exercise is good for you."

the door shuts behind me.

3 comments:

Austyn said...

that is pretty much the best thing i have ever heard in my life! you always put a smile on my face and a laugh. <3

Mary said...

I am so proud of you. :)
What did you do after you walked out?

ellebelle said...

Cato Jones is a
NIGHTMARE!
i'm glad you had the courage to
tromp outta there.
Because he was subbing for mrs Harter one time and I was *this close* to just walking out of the classroom because he pissed me off so bad.
but i couldn't.
so uhh
kudos to you, Olivia :)