October 31, 2010

Taylor Lautner has a new name

stake dances win. forever. I think I am going to drop school dances over all and just stick to the best kind of dance, one that includes the word 'stake'

but we must rewind the day just a teensy bit. Imagine me sitting on the computer with a towel on my head. and then imagine if you will, my dad coming in and telling me my grandfather is here with my cousins and I must flee somewhere with them. it was a mighty battle of words, ((kind words I remind you)) but he prevailed and I wiped some make-up on my face, let my hair naturally curl, and fled with my cousins.

my grandfather is a man of mystery. you never know when he'll come, or where he'll take you. and he won't tell you either until you get in the car. So we mysteriously ended up at Brigham Young University. After I toured my family through the harris fine arts center, ((which I have intimate knowledge of thanks to my Joseph days))  we went bowling. Brenton is now Boogiebear. but you may only call him that right before he throws the ball. Johnny is Jon. he and I tie because we have equal skill. I am Via. at least when I bowl.

You know that charming little grocery store in Orem? Called Harmon's ? it's the celestial grocery store. best place to buy chicken. and when we buy chicken, we pick up emilee for dinner of course. and then cousins leave, then olivia makes a costume appear out of thin air. it is a lame teenage costume, but I say pretty impressive for five minutes to put it together.

I proceed to trick or treat. yes. I plan to trick or treat until I graduate. I get candy with Mary. I love candy. and mary. and then we go to the stake dance.

so now that we are caught up in the events that took place before the epicly wondrous dance, I can continue onward in the story.

I became so giddy I almost peed. I think I did. there were so many people I haven't seen for extended amounts of time. I was excited to start socializing. but.
I soon realized after Zachary, whom I see everyday, didn't recognize me, that none of my high schoolers would recognize me at all. I felt like I was hiding behind my face paint. I hated it. I explained my dilemma to mah girls. and it commenced to be exactly identical to a teenage girl chick flick. they stayed in the bathroom with me and helped me wash it off. church hand soap works miracles. ((it is blessed))

I stepped onto the illuminated dance floor, face red and shiny, feeling fourteen times better than before.
the announcer announced that it was ladies choice. some words were exchanged betwixt emilee and I,
and then I asked Julian Smith to dance. he also goes by Spencer Merryweather.

and then my marching band friends return victorious from the city of Logan. I proceed to dance with a saxophone player. and then I learn something that everyone else has known since the second grade:

double double this this double double that that double this double that double double this that

the next slow song went by, my friends and I learning to do claps and rhymes. being in second grade is grand.

the last slow song rolls around. and I am texting like the teenager I am when a boy whom I have never seen before asks me to dance. and ladies. that boy was Taylor Lautner.
he was very attractive. and kind. and he asked me to dance. I am thinking I'm going to marry this kid.
so I cordially invite you loyal reader, to the marriage of Olivia and Taylor.
Olivia Lautner. not too shabby.

2 comments:

emilee said...

You forgot his name.
How. Dare. You.

Maddy Frechem said...

If by "a saxophone player" you mean Evan Taylor ( and of course you do because he is the only sax player worth mentioning) and if he taught you the double double game, I would just like to say that I taught him that, and it was a very proud moment indeed. And now my vanity ends, thank you.